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Update: Here are the Super Bowl ads you (mostly) won’t see in Canada

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The Canadian broadcast won’t include most of these big ads from the game. Watch them here.

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Update: Many of the commercials have been updated with the full versions. See below.

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It’s Super Bowl season, which means the NFL hype train is rolling along and companies across the spectrum are leaking details about their multimillion-dollar ad campaigns for the most-watched TV show of the year.

As usual, CRTC rules dictate that the Canadian broadcast won’t include most of them, giving rights holder CTV/TSN a chance to take their own healthy cut from the big game.

That’s changing slowly as some U.S. companies now pay for ad time in the Canadian market. But the majority still don’t make an appearance north of the border.

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With that in mind, here are some teasers, trailers and complete ads that will play in the U.S. during Super Bowl LVIII. (By the way, that’s No. 58. The NFL is, more than any other institution of higher learning, dedicated to keeping Roman numerals alive for future generations.)

The game from Las Vegas pitting the Kansas City Chiefs against the San Francisco 49ers is Sunday, Feb. 11, with pre-game shows starting … already? The contest itself kicks off at 3:30 p.m. PT.

Michelob Ultra

Noted comedic actor and sometime soccer player Lionel Messi will be featured in a beer ad on Sunday, and Michelob has released a couple of short teasers. One of them also features noted comedic actor and sometime soccer coach Jason Sudeikis.

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Hellmann’s Mayo

The mayonnaise company isn’t holding back pre-game, having already released a teaser and two versions of its full commercial, all featuring cat-crazy Kate MacKinnon. A short version will launch in Canada a day after the Super Bowl.

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Kawasaki Ridge

This one was filmed in and around Vancouver (more on that here). It’s about a new sports vehicle that’s a cross between a quad and a pickup. Here’s the full spot:

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Deadpool 3

Not officially a Super Bowl ad, but here’s another local hero, Vancity’s own Ryan Reynolds, who decided to drop the first full trailer for Deadpool 3 on Sunday. The movie opens July 26.

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CeraVe

Michael Cera’s collab with the skin-care brand didn’t have any teasers, and that’s a good thing because it’s much funnier coming at you out of the blue.

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Coors Light

Molson Coors is investing in a Canada-specific Super Bowl ad for the first time that features the “chill train.” The full spot dropped on Monday.

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Mountain Dew

Aubrey Plaza of White Lotus fame is part of the soda-pop maker’s Bowl ad. She’s “excited” about the opportunity, she says, adopting the dripping disdain of her character in that show.

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State Farm

Aaaaarrrnold riffs on his action-hero status in the teaser for the insurance company’s Sunday ad.

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Bud Light

The brand that “woke” itself almost to death a while ago is back to swimming in the mainstream lately. Their teaser for Super Bowl LVIII doesn’t reveal much — except the guy is wearing a Peyton Manning jersey, who’s been doing spots for Bud Light with Emmitt Smith this season.

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FanDuel

Canadian TV sports watchers have been seeing a series of teasers about Gronk’s second kick at the can in FanDuel’s Kick of Destiny campaign. The promotion took on a bittersweet tone as featured actor Carl Weathers died before the Bowl ad ran.

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Lay’s Canada

This one was created specifically for the Canadian Super Bowl market, and features hockey legend — and not-so- legendary onetime captain of the Vancouver Canucks — Mark Messier. The casting call spot put $1 million on the table if anyone ate just one flavour of Lay’s while awaiting their audition. Spoiler alert: Betcha can’t.

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Booking.com

Tina Fey and a few familiar faces plug the travel website.

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T-Mobile

Zach Braff, Donald Faison and Jason Momoa get retro-goofy in a spot for cheap home internet. Yes, apparently they have that in the U.S. (The extended cut of the Grease homage brings in John Travolta.)

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M&Ms

The candy maker has a big-concept ad this year about using peanut butter to create diamonds (!) for the Almost Champions Ring of Comfort, celebrating football superstars who never won a Super Bowl. The 30-second spot will also be broadcast in Canada on CTV and TSN.

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Uber Eats

Victoria and David Beckham are in a spot for the food-delivery service and the teasers all riff on how culturally out of touch the English couple are about this big “football” game and all things Americana.

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Volkswagen

The teaser for the carmaker’s full Super Bowl ad suggests it will be a salute to the iconic Beetle called “An American Love Story.” Here’s the full ad and teaser:

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Popeyes

Ken Jeong pops up in the teaser for this one.

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Drumstick

The hilariously bizarre Eric André is in his first Super Bowl commercial this year. Here’s the teaser and a longer spot from the ice-cream company, which is also making its Bowl debut.

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Doritos

Busy Scream queen Jenna Ortega is featured in a spot for the Mexi-spiced Doritos Dinamita. Here’s the extended cut.

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Doritos Canada

In a twist on the whole “can’t watch the big commercials here” trope, Doritos has Canadians Gerry Dee and Amrit Kaur watching the U.S. spots and sharing their experience with us during the game. Here’s the teaser:

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Oreo Cookie

As one who has studiously not kept up with the Kardashians, I’m sure this one will go over my head, but Oreo and Kris Jenner have a spot. Here’s the full version and the teaser with a twist.

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E.L.F.

The cosmetics maker is reuniting the cast of Suits, a show known to many only as “that thing Meghan Markle was in.” Fun for fans, I’m sure, but having seen exactly zero minutes of the show, I’m at a loss here, too.

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Nerds

OK, now I just feel old. American singer-songwriter-dancer Addison Rae, who came up on TikTok, is training a mystery client in this teaser for the candy maker. In my defence, it includes a song released 17 years before she was born.

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BMW i5

BMW’s new electric gets the unmatchable Christopher Walken and a quick cameo from Super Bowl halftime act Usher.

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Pringles

Chris Pratt meets his doppelgänger in the teaser for the chip-maker’s Super Bowl spot.

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Budweiser

No human is more legendary in the Super Bowl ad pantheon than the Budweiser Clydesdales, so it makes sense this year’s teaser is a reminder they’re back. Fun fact: They were introduced way back in 1933 to help Anheuser-Busch celebrate the end of Prohibition.

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jruttle@postmedia.com

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